If you are going through a dissolution of your relationship and children are involved, I invite and strongly urge all parents to become child focused. There are 2 wonderful websites for parents, one for parents who are married and one for parents who are not. I strongly believe that a visit to the appropriate website and participation in the exercises will provide enlightenment and assistance in planning a better future for you and your children. For your convenience and prior to your mediation with me I have provided a link to my intake form which I would like you to complete before our first meeting.
Mediation Intake for Parents in a Family Case
Intake form for parents.
I agree with the authors and creators of this website that parents who want to build a better future for their children and themselves must negotiate at least 12 paradigm shifts in how you think:
- Maybe this isn’t a competition between us, but instead the ultimate call to cooperation.
- Maybe our issues aren’t so much legal as personal, emotional and parental.
- Maybe our love for our children will be a better guide for us than our legal rights or litigation.
- Maybe we have been so consumed with our own hurt and fear that our children’s needs have become invisible to us.
- Maybe our children are suffering as a result of our conflict- and in ways we haven’t noticed.
- Regardless of what they say to appease each of us, maybe what our children really want and need is a predictable, restrained, and courteous relationship between their parents.
- Instead of being threatened by my children’s good relationship with their other parent, maybe I actually have a vital interest in supporting those relationships.
- Maybe my failure to acknowledge and deal with my grief has helped drive our conflict.
- Maybe we can succeed only by partnering to protect our children.
- Maybe our children require us to have even better cooperation now that we are separated.
- Maybe my co-parent’s slips are reason for me to be heroically restrained, not to add to conflict.
- Maybe the failure of our intimate/marital relationship is no predictor of failure in our co-parenting.